Do Over Dilemma

Okay so imagine that you actually had a do-over button for your life? I’m not talking about a constant button to push whenever something doesn’t go the way you want but when you get to retirement age, let’s say 60, you could push the button and go back to whatever age you want to start again at. Would you do it?

The first instinct would probably be to say heck yeah! But not so fast. You would retain your knowledge and memories. Although you could change your life choices you need to remember that those changes will change other things. For example, if you hadn’t married your idiot ex, you would not have the children you had together. It’s sort of a huge butterfly effect, maybe a pterodactyl effect.

Like probably everyone, I have made choices in my life that in hindsight were pretty stupid. I started my adult life by eloping during Spring break of my senior year of high school. By the time I graduated two months later, I was pregnant and my husband was convicted of possession and intent to sell a schedule 1 drug. He was incarcerated for the following two years only to promptly be sent back for more time after returning to his “halfway house” with drugs in his system after a weekend pass. Guess what. I was pregnant again. That is just the tip of my iceberg of life mistakes and those could be considered some of the minor errors.

One of my biggest personal mistakes is not caring for my health. After a brief “try-out cause I want to be cool” period I never smoked plus I only drink occasionally so I was good on that front. My problem was diet and exercise. That is probably the biggest thing I would change if I had the chance. Seriously. Even though there were a lot of things I should have done in my life that I did not do, the biggest change would be to take better care of myself.

I do have some regrets, I wish I would’ve learned scuba diving before I had heart issues. I’ve wanted a tattoo for many years and always put it off. If I would’ve got one every time I wanted I would be inked with the Bengals logo, a cherry blossom branch, Good Charlotte CG logo, A dog paw that says YANA, and currently I want a, well…I will keep that a secret. But I don’t think it matters since I probably can’t get one now because of blood thinners. I probably wouldn’t be on blood thinners now if I had paid more attention to my body and health.

It seems as if I am on the side of pushing that do-over button after all. Maybe not though. My current husband is the love of my life whom I met when I was 14. We didn’t get together as a couple until pushing our 40s. While it seems like that would be a thing I would like to do over, I will have to stop your thoughts right there. I am pretty sure that if I had started with my love as my first husband, our relationship would have been different and definitely more tumultuous. I think all the adventures, choices, and mistakes I made before we got together made me who I am. Made me the person that is compatible with the right husband.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? We, as people, are a product of our choices and circumstances. It molds us into who we are. But still, if we could make it flow in a different direction would we take the chance? For some reason, I am reminded of the game Plinko on The Price is Right. The contestant drops the chip at the top, at whatever spot they choose, and it bumps its way to a different prize slot every time. Very rarely a contestant will happen to get the chip in the grand prize slot. But there’s always that chance if you want to try.

So what do you think?

Do-Over or keep what you’ve already won?