Changing the Pace

I recently started another life. My first life began at birth like most people. Although it took some distance to realize it, my second life began at the age of fifteen as I flew away from Iwakuni, Japan. Thankfully I was blessed with a third life at the edge of the new millennium when I left a toxic relationship and found the love I lost decades earlier. On May 10, 2021, it was more of a physical resurrection. I have atrial fibrillation associated with tachycardia-bradycardia syndrome and I received a pacemaker.

I don’t want to waste this life. I have had a lot of experiences both good and bad throughout my past but I have been complacent more than I would have liked and I have definitely become a master procrastinator. In high school, I was smart and could get good grades if I would apply myself. I didn’t really want to; so I didn’t. I graduated with a slightly above C average. I have wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. But writing takes a lot of work. I saw no reason to apply myself. Although I raised children and grandchildren, had jobs, and ran a household, my motto was “I relax.” As an adult, I have struggled with weight issues. I have loved sweets since I was a kid. Soda and candy were forbidden fruit at our house so of course, I sought it out wherever I could. Now that I am on the north side of menopause my cravings have changed but the fat remains. For the most part, I’ve done whatever I wanted to do in my third life unless I had to work hard for it. Well, that’s not really true; I worked persevered through personal and health hardships while inching my way towards a Master’s degree which I finally accomplished last year. But now I’m wondering. How many lives do I have left? Shouldn’t I make the most I can out of it instead of just taking the “I don’t have to if I don’t want to” approach”? If this was a true reset and I was given a chance to start over, wouldn’t I work harder at things I deemed worthy but was too lazy to strive for? I am pretty sure the answer is yes.

So with this new life, I am making new commitments. I want to lose weight and as healthy as I'm able. I want to finally publish these stacks of writings and notebooks that I've been hoarding. I want to I am going to treat this life as if I were starting over and put in the work for my goals. I am pretty excited about it actually.

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